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Thinking Straight Equals Major Fail

My brain has, appearantly, the nasty habit of running away from me and going into hiding.

Really, I am, at times, amazed that I am still able to walk with the way things are--

I am currenlty studying Icelandic, the course is grouped into three untis á 5 lessons. Easy, non?

However, me, my insanity and I have decided that the term >>easy<< does not belong into our lifes. I was halfway through Unit 3, when I looked back and discovered that I had accidentally skipped almost the entire lessons of Unit 1 u_û#
I am fairly certain that it should have been obvious, these lessons covered things like negatives, adjectives, plurals, numbers and carrers. Things that are built upon...

Well, I made it more difficult, but I still managed to learn things, that's all that matters, hm?

So Then--

So...me has escaped Monsterzilla for now. She is going to take some "well-deserved" and anticipated time-off. It's only two weeks, but it is at least something *massages temples*.

Some idiot-biker appearantly drove head-on in her car and gave her quite the scare. Monsterzilla is now car(e)less, and shaky. I should feel sorry for her, but I am not too concerned. The good woman stands on my blacklist and while I do not hate her (I still don't hate anyone, but I worry that I might be able to feel hatred towards her if this goes on.. .__. ), she frequently boggles my mind with the way she sees and treats me.

I must admit that she also makes me uneasy. I don't think that she respects or admires anyone, and this is...it's not something I want to relate to, something I do not wish to understand. She does not take people seriously, Monsterzilla jokes about them and when she is not teasing anyone she is still almost unable to accept that she can be in the wrong. She is the kind of person that tells you your name is Abraham, when it is Emily, or something of the like.

I am not too happy that I will now have to meet Maria instead of Monsterzilla, but, socks, I will survive this as well. I must. I want to.

I should just take care that my ears will not fall off, the good womans talks way too much. Uff--!

Btw; Why is Kuroshitsuji's fandom so small?? I wish there was more....especially more of fics and pics not containing SebastianCiel. Urgh.

Current Resulution: I'll give Mello time. And space. Maybe I'll be able to sew myself together, again.

And the Passage of Time Shall be Ignored

Lower my Eyes

Don't write with me, please, not when you do not wish to, not when it is not important for you.

What am I to do? If I know that you are not interested in writing with me...should I attack you with more messages, while feeling sick for doing so, because you say that it is okay?

I have never been interested in writing with somebody, no matter how precious, simply for the sake of writing something. If you ...if my company is not desired, I do not want to give it. It...seems like a violation, if my words can not do any good and are not sought after, I should shut up.

What does it say about me, when my company can be accepted without being yearned for..?

Enough, I think. It just proves what I've been told.

please, I do not want to cry--

[and yet, I do, foolish girl.)


Planned Cosplays

L [Death Note], Chloé [Noir], Schuldig [Weiß Kreuz], Alice [American McGee's Alice], Sirius [Hp]-> Chaos, much?


[x]White, long-sleeved shirt
[x]oversized denim (man wear...but I have no idea what size it should be)
[x]worn sneakers, or sandals (will mostly walk barefoot, though)
[x]wig, black, messy
[x]lenses (maybe)
[x]handcuffs? >P

A Raito would be nice, too. (Am I greedy? I am already blessed with a Near, Mello and Matt...hn)
And I should not forget to get rid of my black nailpolish...dark karbarett L would be rather strange, indeed.

[x] wig, violett, short
[x] green cloak, btw fabric
[x] black Shorts
[x] black tank top
[x] glove
[x] lenses [?]
[x] straps/buckles/whatnot
[x] sharp, pointy objects [?]

I just realised...I want to do something with an umbrella .__.

[x] wig, red/orange, long
[x] gun
[x] lenses
Need to decide upon one of his outfits oô

Going to Avoid Back-Alleys From Now On

And there goes my illusion that reading is a safe acticity...I really should have known better:

*eats ice cream*
*reads fanfic rant*
*encounters pregnant Jack and Abortions via Hook*

was the last bit of my brain, gonna miss you baby.

Side Notes:

#1: Miranda/Kanda- What the Socks?!

#2: What does it say about me that the two characters who can make me squeal ( sock da-n, squeal-!)are Allen Walker and Mello? Oh dear *laughs*

NaruNeji Fanfic-blah

Title: The Weight of the Sky
Pairing: NaruNeji/NejiNaru
Fandom: Naruto
Theme Set: Gamma
Rating: PG-15
Disclaimer: I am, currently, high on sugar and not drugs and as long as sugar does not induce hallucinations of any sort, I have to admit that I do not own Naruto. Aren't we all relieved?
follow the rabbitCollapse )

Whinging for Idiots

Remind me again...there was something called sleep, was there not?

I think sleep is what I should actually engage in right now...but my body is a strange thing and my mind is is just...I guess I'd much rather not think about it. However, going whole days without sleep is not any good(is my subconcious adjusting to the fact that I am supposed to cos L in a few months? Well, if so, you're free to call me panda-tan *rolls eyes*)

The last few weeks, nay...make this almost months were...hectic, to say the least. Bothersome might be a good description as well.

But, well, I am home again (finally). And..well, I won't willingly leave again. Besides to go to my Beloved. Or the bookshop and so forth. I might even go to the Connichi and go visit Shin or Zexy...but for the rest, nooo...I live here, I stay here. Get.Lost.

(btw...I doubt that I will ever get it in my head that I met and talked and embraced Zexy. If this is not some kind of...gift, I don't know what could be. That was more than I deserved and I will treassure those moments...I might write more as soon as I can get my thoughts together).

And, please, can anyone make my caretaker, caseworker-thingie stop yapping about me being insane? Thank you in advance.

So...to stop the unnecesary moping there were a few pleasant things, of course.(They pretty muich centered on the last weekend and my return). Zexy's reaction when she realised after hours of talking with me that it was my actual b-day, seeing zexy in person, meeting Shin again and...ah, yes, the bloody highlight-

I saw Sasuke-hime doing the DDR, purple ass-bow and all included *chuckles*.

If manga characters could know what people do when they cosplay them...mah, I'd rather not know, because it sounds like it would include disembered limbs and gore and blood and did I mention- disemerment?

uff...I am scaring myself now, really, I am.

In the name of all that is fluffy, I need sleep. I would't even post here if I were not worried.

Fran, if you read this I wanted to tell you that I miss you, no matter what my (unplaned, unwanted) disappearance might have suggested. I can be online again and after I have conquered my mail and all it's...idiosyncrisies of blah and after I have got some shut-eye I will try to write you.
let it work--let it work, please.
here for a short notice-- afraid that I'll forget it otherwise. Uff..I am so, so behind in writing Xx

Required Items:

[√] small earings(means I need to get pierced again), preferably silver
[x]wig (100 cm, black)
[x]lenses (maybe, is not necessary)
[√]button-down shirt, white
[√]vest, black, low-cut at the back, preferably with white straps
[√]trousers, black (already have some)
[√]boots, red (can borrow a pair, even when they are not a perfect fit...)
[x]medallion (not necessary)
[√]ribbon or a stiff, thin fly
[√]pieces of cloth to gather my sleeves

Can you guess what I was talked into? Honestly? I still can't believe I agreed to this madness. Graar!

Blimey Does Not Even Come Close

I'll give you something, a belief that I actually have and plan on keeping, ignore it, if you can not stomach pseudo-shrink babble, I really, really can understand it ->

People want to hurt, to ache, to suffer. It gives them the perfect excuse to mope, bitch and waste other's time. Yes, Fate is a Whore and her middle name is Cruel, and yes, Karma is as sweet as aconite, but, honestly, there are people who could ease their problems if they would invest the time spent sulking in working, in changing themselves. Something else that I consider as helpful is the wonderful acticity called thinking--

too bad, that only a select few appear to be able to indulge in it.

Bueeeh! My patience is running out, does anyone notice?

Well, on the bright side...I have been pulled out of my hole, wrote something that actually got reviews- I am still shell-shocked- and managed to re-locate my backbone so that I could speak, finally, with my friends. In addition I got one of the most...touching, wonderful, breath-taking letters in my entire life, realised, once again, that I have the most awe-inspiring, understanding friends ever; my Beloved is mine for 14 months now...I am...flabbergasted? Over-joyed? So bloody lucky? Pick whatever you want, I'll take it as long as I get to hold her in my arms.

Moi also got around her...fear of eating fish. Don't laugh, I almost died eating fish when I was little..and since then it had been Sushi or nor fish at all. Not to mention that I like watching fish and have problems thinking about eating something this...beautiful and strong.

Weh...I am weirding myself out, again...

I love my friends, really, they're are my strength. Kurai, Zexy, Shin, Soy...just to name a few, just to name the ones I treassure the most...I doubt that I will ever forget you. I certainly do not want to. I hope that I will grow into someone who is, at least somewhat, worthy of all your wonderful words.